I ramble on a bit...

Slot Car Racing

Dwayne — Wed, 09 May 2012 06:26:25 +0000

This is a bit of a digression but check out this video my friend made. He makes these slot cars tracks as a hobby, and a side business. Dude is so talented.

Basic Truths

Dwayne — Sun, 06 May 2012 07:45:12 +0000

I have decided to start drawing again.
I am somewhat disappointed with what I have done tonight.
I still hate myself.
I haven’t done my taxes yet.
I still love my kids.
Knowing my kids still need me keeps me alive.
I define myself as an artist first and foremost.
My career is as far removed from art as you could possibly be.
I believe I am a poor artist.
I believe I am a poor father.
All these things are true.

My body hates me.

Dwayne — Fri, 04 May 2012 06:40:12 +0000

So after 20 years of working in a door factory, ten of them working on the trimmer huffing around 80-100lb doors, my body is a mess. Even after having a desk job for the last couple years I am in constant pain. I know this is caused by my lack of stretching and exercise, and no real physical damage, so after visiting physiotherapists and chiropractors will little effect I asked my friend Chiho to help me out. Chiho is a personal trainer, and I figured she could help me with some core strengthening. I am a lazy ass and would not exercise at all without her. Well let me tell you, aside from the exercise bits, the biggest help has been her stretching regime. Chiho will bend and twist me like a Flex Armstrong doll, helping me do stretches and massaging me in a way I could never achieve myself, and it is working fantastically. She has done more for me than any physiotherapist has ever done.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to say thank-you to Chiho for all her hard work. If you live in Chilliwack and need a little help getting back in shape, or ending the constant pain of over used and under exercised muscles, I highly recommend Chihoko. She is worth every penny.

I want to draw

Dwayne — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 05:29:34 +0000

I’m going to try and get back into the game here. I want to draw.
Not sure where to start, but I won’t get too ambitious off the bat.
Of course, I can still do work if required, I still have the capability to draw, I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to make stuff for myself.
I will see if I can force myself to do something.
Either that or kill myself. I haven’t decided.
Work is pretty busy, (real work, the soul destroying corporate stuff, not art work), and family responsibilities keep me on the go, but I think I just need to better manage my down time.

Since my truck was stolen and I had to buy a new one I’m getting pretty tight in the cash department too, so if anyone is looking to hire a dependable artist who never misses a deadline, just give me a shout :)
Plus it’s hard to claim tax exemptions when you had no income related to your business in a year :) I don’t think there is a check box for crushing depression in the tax forms, although I may be wrong since I haven’t put my taxes together yet.

If you like what you see give me a shout. Who knows, It might help :)

Ahh. One thing I want to accomplish. My friend Mari has written a story she would like me to illustrate and help her publish. It’s a great story, and I think should be very well received if I pull it off. I shouldn’t spoil it too much but it’s an autobiographical piece and my friend has had a very tragic, and uplifting, life. I cried reading the script. I think it would be a very worthwhile project and I hope I do it justice, (If get it done at all.)
Wish me luck. This story deserves to be told.

生きてると大変な

Dwayne — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:54:44 +0000

I will never understand what the big deal is with life, what all the excitement is about. I understand I have a pretty good life. I do not suffer, I have more than adequate means, and yet, I don’t enjoy it one bit, and fail to see what is enjoyable about it. It’s a struggle. It’s difficult. It’s a troublesome unending toil, and then you die. Then what? Nothing. It seems so pointless.
I’d like to hang around to help my kids grow up, but beyond that I have no interest in any of it.
I try to be good to people, I try to help those who need help, even though the reward is often getting shafted in the rear. I think I used to care. Somewhat. But that has been pretty much crushed in the last few years. Now there is a whole lot of nothing. I say this by way of explaining why I don’t update very often. It’s a rare day I feel inspired. I can go though the act of drawing whatever and hoping to find gold, but I can barely find the energy to open my sketchpad.
Sorry.
I will try to get out a sketch whenever the mood hits me, but there will be no flurry of art this year, or any year thereafter I imagine. With my luck I will live another 40.
Mostly I’m just waiting.